As a mother of two boys 13 and 17. I’m thinking of how to encourage them, so when it’s time for them to go into a relationship and go out with girls, they have a strong foundation and belief, that they are enough as they are. I can’t give them more than that and I can’t prevent them for getting heartbroken. I want to teach them to protect themself and their integrity. If something doesn’t feel ok for them. Then say no. Nobody taught me that. So it’s one of my wishes in life to give them this foundation.
With that said. I got the inspiration to write this post. And I dedicate it to all of you men out there who are worried about not being enough as a man. You who is worried about not being good enough as a lover. You who measure your… you know what… and compare it’s size with your friends’ to find out that his is bigger than yours…
You who think you don’t have the right muscles, or the right position, or money enough to make a woman happy?
Let me tell you - a woman doesn’t measure you by those conditions (ok, some do, but are they really worthy you if they only measure your worth by such superficial physical attributes?). That’s an important question to answer.
Love is about hanging in there with each other even those days when it’s not fun. Love is to see the possibilities in the other person before he or she does.
Attraction is when you stand up for yourself, admiting that you are sometimes weak and scared even as a man.
Charisma is when you are secure enough to give your wisdom to others around you.
Some men believe that all women are dreaming to go out on a dinner date with George Clooney or Brad Pitt. But george Clooney and Brad Pitt are not my nominees for a dinner date.
My nominees as a woman if I should choose an interesting dinner date are:
Stephen Hawkins – He is bound to his wheelchair, his muscles are not working that well, but his brain is sharp like a knife. What an interesting dinner date. Talking about science and space. And look at him. He has dignity even in his wheelchair talking with his mechanical help. And he is braver than me. I wouldn’t dare to fly in that space simulator. He does, even with ALS.
Desmond Tutu – The archbishop. Have you heard him speak? He’s great. And he is fun. And he learned to swim when he was a grown up. What an interesting and entertaining dinner date.
Gandalf the white - Everybody wants someone who can protect them. I do. And why not choose someone who’s really got the skills? A wise man has charisma. He could explain to me why I still got a panic disorder after 20 years. And surely give me a good advice.
Nelson Mandela – I would listen to him all night long. And I wish I had the opportunity to ask him how he could leave the past behind when he was released from prison.
Bruce Springsteen – Bruce once said that the first time he looked himself in the mirror and liked what he saw – was when he got his first guitar in his hand. I would like to tell him that, the first time I looked at myself in the mirror and liked what I saw – was when he sang “Adam Raised a Cain” for me from my tape recorder. I was 16 years old then.
What do these men have in common? They have integrity, they have passion for what they do and they are not afraid to help other people.
Do you still think that you need to have the perfect body and the perfect physical loving skills to be satisfied and to get a beautiful girl?
Let me to introduce you to Nick Vujinic.
Nick Vujinic is a man born without no legs and no arms. That’s a challenge for a man isn’t it?
He was lucky enough to have parents who didn’t put him in an orphan home and who had the pratical and mental resources to take care of him. They didn’t only do that, the loved and encouraged him too.
Still there was a time when Nick Vujinic was depressed and didn’t want to live.
But he decided to keep on going and to do something about his life – he decided to believe that everyone was put on this earth for a purpose. And one of his messages is that you should go out to find that purpose.
Is this man attractive? Yes. He is. Is he sexy? Yes he is. Why?
Because he got guts, integrity, faith, belief and a will to help others, and I’m sure he struggles every day to make his life going.
That is attractive. That is charisma.
He travels around the world, encouraging young people to believe in themselves and that they are good enough as they are.
Is that attractive. Yes it is.
Nick Vujinic and his wife.
No, she can’t hold his hand – but she holds his only feet with three toes instead she told.
And he became a father recently – to a son with arms and legs.
Don’t waste your time thinking that you’re not good enough, not handsome enough or not a great lover enough (you don’t have to be, let your partner be it sometimes too). Look at it the other way. Where are you heading? What are your goals? What do you want to give and accomplish? And last but not least, what are your intentions?
Are your intentions in life good? Well then you have everything ahead of you. Just keep focus on your goals. You’ll get there.
Are your intentions bad? Nothing can save you in the end. Not young age, not good looks, not money.
Keep on doing what you are passionate about. Don’t give up and don’t let anyone turn you down for good. People are going to put you down, and you are going to put yourself down too. It’s inevitable. The important thing is to rise up again. And again. And again.
Do visit the following you tube links about Nick and get inspired.
All the best to you and thank you for reading.